It Doesn’t Add Up
There’s a saying that there’s a sucker born every minute. It’s hard to disbelieve that statement if you spend 30 minutes reading the newspaper (online, of course) and read about scamming and stupidity. They tend to go hand in hand.
However, such a sweeping statement that ALL Russian mail order brides are scamming, is preposterous.
While there doesn’t seem to be any accurate statistics available on exactly how many men marry an overseas bride, strong rumors suggest that it’s over 20,000 a year!
Even a fraction of that figure would disprove the statement that all these women are gold diggers and trying to scam men.
The Basics of How it Works
When a woman signs up with an online dating agency, she seems to get the label of ‘mail order bride’. Online dating seemingly skips the usual process of courtship, and as long as she has met the standards set by the agency, she is set to go.
The online system differs from an arranged marriage, which is organized by parents or relatives. The process involved with international online dating sites is that a foreigner can select from a list of women who are presented, complete with profile and photograph on the dating site.
The usual basis for selection is physical attraction. A great photo is going to get you more interested men. A simple honey for the bee.
The woman has provided all her necessary details along with a photograph, hoping to meet a potential husband and whose proposal, when it comes, or if it comes, she will undoubtedly accept.
The majority of women who register with these dating sites are genuinely looking for some life changes. There are many reasons why hot Russian girls put themselves out there to find a loving husband and with it a steady relationship.
Russian men are not renown for being great husbands and fathers, and statistics from that country suggest that all is not rosy within Russian marriages. Well educated, potential Russian mail order brides, are looking for something other than what their mother has, or had.
It’s not that these women really want to leave their country, it’s a simple fact of there being little choice. There are somewhere around 10 million ore women in Russia than men. An equality that exacerbates their hunt for a suitable partner.
The scammers on these dating sites are not necessarily bad people. It’s pointless hating them, you don’t know them. Never judge another. As a man looking for a partner, learn to recognize which ones you need to avoid.
They are not criminals, they are better classified as professional friends. Their sole aim when they get online is to extract a few extra dollars from men just by being friendly. It happens in your own country.
Go to a club and a bar girl will sit down at your table if you buy her drinks. She’s not allowed to go home with you. If you tell her that you are not buying her any more drinks what do you think will happen? Right! She will get up and leave.
Is that any different from online scammers? If a woman online asks you for money and you tell her that you are not about to support somebody you have never met, she will go away.
Some men never learn. Have you read stories about how some guys has been scammed out of hundreds of thousands of dollars? Do you find it hard to believe?
At what point in the online relationship did the man never investigate claims of poverty, family sickness, deaths and other similar tales of misery. A lonely heart is a very fragile organ, and when played by an experienced musician, it will sing.
Or in this case, keep giving until there is no more to give. It’s hard to point a finger of blame in cases like this. There is present an unequal mix of cunning and stupidity. Sad, but true.
Successful Online Relationships
The idea that everyone online is on the take is not supported by real life examples of very successful relationships.
The reporting of Russian online dating sites has been mostly by western women and they have elected to take a rather skewed sample by talking to men who have not had a lot of success in that area.
Regardless of the more positive statistic being taken into consideration that 75% of international marriages are successful. Compare that to a 53% divorce rate of same country marriages in the USA, and similar in other western countries.
Marriage is not for Everyone
While everybody needs a partner, or is looking for a soul mate, not every guy deserves a good wife. Some men are nothing but jerks.
Some are looking for a slave housekeeper, other are looking for a trophy wife, others may be looking for a baby maker or a cook and cleaner, and the really bad ones are abusive bullies who have probably already assaulted women in their lives.
How the woman on the dating site is able to discern a psychopath from potential lover is almost impossible. Bad stories about women who have moved from their countries to marry a manic are plenty.
But nowhere near the number of stories about successful marriages. These happy endings are not really newsworthy, and who wants to publicize their private life if it’s running smoothly and happily anyway?
Some Damaging Facts
These days, online scams are well organized crimes with their target being lonely, vulnerable people.
Many people call this the perfect crime because the victims are usually so embarrassed at being caught out, they they are reluctant to come forward and report the loss to the appropriate authorities.
So, the scammers rarely get caught. In 2016 the FBI received 15,000 romance scam complaints with monetary losses of around $230 million dollars. That’s serious money and that’s serious crime.
To make matters worse, the FBI says that these 16,000 reports are only 15% of the real number with the rest remaining unreported!
Here’s an interesting figure though. 82% of romance scam victims are women over 50. That doesn’t sit well with the statement that Russian brides are all scammers. It’s simply not true.
From Russia With Love
Russian dating sites and Russian mail order brides have been present in the area of global matrimony for years.
Russia itself, even the new Russia, is well known for beautiful castles, Red Square and the onion domes, theatre halls, art galleries, fiercely cold winters and a bit of seashore.
The other thing they are famous for are the stunning women. With their pretty face and that golden hair set off by a fantastic figure, it’s no wonder they can win a man’s heart.
Just take a look at Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova as pretty good examples.
Real Russian Women
As well as their looks, the women are usually highly educated and steeped in culture. Some have travelled abroad for higher education and to see the world. Just to round off all these attributes, they are great homemakers and can cook up a storm.
It’s no wonder that hot Russian girls are very popular and desirable to men all over the world. They are committed to a relationship and are caring lovers, all of these resulting in a happy married life with husband and children.
And the Real Russian Men are…?
The natural question to ask is if they are so good, is why can’t they land one of their own men? There are reasons. Firstly, there is a uneven ratio of women to men. Too many women, not enough choices, and not enough to go around.
The personal profile of Russian men is not all that complimentary – alcoholics, promiscuous and overbearing. Add to that some seriously bad stuff like lazy, irresponsible, uncaring and show little respect for wives or kids.
The Alternative for Russian Women
Where you going to run to, Olga? International dating sites, that’s where. Russian men like younger wives, so a woman over 25 and unmarried is more than likely going to be left on the shelf.
The discrimination against women in Russia is another factor for their wanting a better life. Lower wages for the same work as men doesn’t help.
If a man is interested in finding a beautiful Russian bride and wanting to get involved in some Russian chat, then the dating sites are many from which to pick.
Once you sign up you get access to thousands of prospective young and middle-aged Russian mail order brides. The pictures are usually professionally taken and once attracted by a photo, you can read their profile.
The first move is up to the guy, no different to courting anywhere, online or at home. So, communication can be by email, letter, chat or telephone.
Proceed with Caution
The dating sites offer a lot of tips as well as warnings about scammers and not sending money.
In fact, every dating site in the world provides that piece of advice, but it still falls on deaf ears at times. You can get serious enough online to propose marriage, or at least arrange a visit.
Just beware of fake websites, heed the warnings, because there are some Russian hotties pasing as scammers.